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Relieving the Pressure Valve

While Texas began Stage 1 of reopening the state, we spent the weekend reorganizing our home to burrow in longer. We made a home office and created novel play stations and quiet zones for our boys.

We carved time for me to get back to work and working out.

I was able to reclaim my passions. It lifted my spirits and cleared my mind more than I imagined it would. When I told my friend she replied, “you’ve missed you”.

My friend misses her family’s dinner and game nights with her adult children. It was their family’s tradition since all her babies were babies.

She has gone to preparing baskets every weekend to drop on their doorsteps. This Mama goes all out. She cooks all day Saturday to include homemade breads and desserts. She fills her children’s baskets with food and games. She prepares with the love only a mother has and freely pours it into a basket for a quick drop off.

She has worked to reclaim her family’s tradition.

Sometimes getting to where we are ready to reclaim takes time. When grief is new and heavy it is good to just be in that moment with no expectation.

But as time moves forward there is freedom in taking action. Actions of reclaiming what brings you joy. Actions of love in memory and actions that create new memories.

Life can throw some mean curve balls that can leave us winded and dizzy. When we stop spinning, we can make a choice. We can choose to grab the reins and fall forward. We can creatively place the pieces back together or make room for new. Or we can do some of both.

The first month of quarantine, my head spun as our world changed and I spent hours in search for where we could gather food and cleaning supplies.

Yet, as the dust started to settle, I thought on the gifts in this season. It has made room for Dad to have more time cooking with our boys. It has given us a platform with our kids to talk about equity, volunteering and philanthropy. It has helped us recognize how we can incorporate technology to bring ease to our clients. It has caused us to analyze what parts of the old world we want to bring forward with us.

Oddly enough, it has helped me recognize how little black and white there is in our daily routines. There is much in our lives that felt mandatory that now I see as fluff.

In neuroscience, when we talk about learning, it is the repetition of a task that strengthens and builds the connection so we can perform a task with skill. Life, many times, has laid the connection that life is dear and short. Covid has brought another “series of repetitions” that has strengthened my belief that people are most important.

I took a quick walk this afternoon. The sky was perfectly clear and blue. The mix of the warm Sun and the cool Wind created the perfect spring temperature. As I walked, I could not help but stare up at the sky. It was perfection and bigger than me.

My eyes followed a single hawk soaring high into the sky as Amazing Grace by Piano Guys played through my headphones. The wind was strong and pressed against my face and arms adding resistance as I walked. My breathing was becoming more labored as the road turned up-hill but the hawk glided effortlessly. He then met five other hawks. They were so free and careless.

My mind escaped the problems of my day and I was left in peace thinking of a God bigger than all of us and all of this. I thought on my God who has set aside better for us. A God who is pure perfection.

As I rounded the corner back to my driveway my eyes fell to my home. A place that seemed small in comparison to the Texas sky. My doorway read “hope” from a painted sign.

As I neared my home, I felt the warm reminders of God’s love and all the love inside that door.

When I need to release the pressure that is mounting in my world, I calm my heart and clear my mind with the promises of God.